Warning: The Apple iPhone has a glitch that will photograph your genitals and email it to hot women!

This was the claim by a woman named Susan in the Apple help forum.  She was snooping through her husband’s iPhone and found a photo of his privates attached to an email in the Sent Mail folder.  The email was addressed to another woman.  Obviously, Susan assumed her husband might be cheating on her.

When Susan confronted her husband, he claimed this was a known iPhone glitch.  He said the iPhone will take random photos while in your pocket, then email those photos to attractive female co-workers.  Never mind the fact that it’s usually pitch dark in your pocket, and the phone would be completely surrounded by cloth and therefore not have a clear shot of anything, um, hanging nearby.

Susan wanted to know if this was possible, since the future of her marriage depended on the answer.  The forum members were unanimous in their response: he’s having an affair.  Their advice was to dump him immediately, though at least one writer wanted to see the photo.

From the Inquirer

Earlier we talked about assicons, so how about some “boobicons”:

.Y.  flat boobies

(.)(.)  little boobies

(o)(o)  average boobies

( O )( O )  big boobies

( ‘ ) ( ‘ )  perky boobies

( , ) ( , )  droopy boobies

{.} {.}  cold boobies

( @ ) ( @ )  hairy boobies

( $ )( $ )  fake boobies

We all know those cute little computer symbols called “emoticons,” where : - ) means a smile and : - ( is a frown. Well, how about some “assicons”:

(_|_) regular ass

(__|__) fat ass

(|) tight ass

(_*_) sore ass

{_|_} swishy ass

(_o_) ass that’s been around

(_xoxo_) kiss my ass

(_X_) leave my ass alone

(_zzz_) tired ass

(_E=mc2_) smart ass

(_$_) money coming out of his ass

(_?_) dumb ass

And here is a real ass:

                          /\          /\
                         ( \\        // )
                          \ \\      // /
                           \_\\||||//_/
                            \/ _  _ \
                           \/|(O)(O)|
                          \/ |      |
      ___________________\/  \      /
     //                //     |____|
    //                ||     /      \
   //|                \|     \ 0  0 /
  // \       )         V    / \____/
 //   \     /        (     /
""     \   /_________|  |_/
       /  /\   /     |  ||
      /  / /  /      \  ||
      | |  | |        | ||
      | |  | |        | ||
      |_|  |_|        |_||
       \_\  \_\        \_\\ Hard'96   

This story was told best by Jay Leno on the Tonight Show:

“Finland’s foreign minister may have to resign after it was revealed that he sent over 200 obscene text messages to an exotic dancer. It kinda makes you wonder what was in those messages. That’s pretty bad when a naked lap dancer considers them obscene. And, he sent 200 of them! I’m not a prude, but can you come up with 200 obscene messages? After the first five or six, don’t you run out of things to say? Let’s be honest now, there are only so many places you can put certain things.”

More on the scandal