When is a kiss not just a kiss? When it’s two women kissing at a baseball game, according to Safeco Field authorities.

An usher approached Sirbrina Guerrero and her date in the third inning of a Seattle Mariners game and asked them to stop kissing because it was making another fan uncomfortable. The usher told them he had received a complaint from a woman nearby who said there were kids in the crowd and parents would have to explain why two women were kissing.

The incident has exploded on local TV, talk radio and online, launching a debate over public displays of affection in gay-friendly Seattle. “I was really just shocked,” Guerrero said. “Seattle is so gay-friendly. There was a couple like seven rows ahead making out. We were just showing affection.”

After an investigation the Mariners said their staff had acted appropriately. The ushers stopped the women because they were “making out” and “groping,” not because they were both women. “We have a strict nondiscrimination policy at the Seattle Mariners and at Safeco Field, and when we do enforce the code of conduct it is based on behavior, not on the identity of those involved,” a Mariners spokeswoman said. “The women refused to modify their behavior, began swearing at the seating hosts and complained that they were being singled out for their sexual orientation.”

Guerrero denied she and her date were groping each other, saying that along with eating garlic fries, they were giving each other brief kisses. Now that’s love: kissing someone while eating garlic fries.

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Despite having made literally hundreds of girl-on-girl porn videos, former XXX-star Jenna Jameson claims that she is not a lesbian. 

“I just got a text from one of my friends on my way over here saying that she wanted to go to bed with me,” a disillusioned Jameson said at Maxim “Hot 100” party.  “I think one of the big misconceptions everyone — even my friends — have of me is that I’m gay, but I am really not.  I’m totally hetero.”

Jameson retired from the porn industry last year and has tried to move into mainstream acting, but with little luck.  “Being taken seriously as a woman has been the hardest challenge to overcome in show business,” Jameson said.  “It took me a long time to make my company successful, and even now it isn’t exactly easy.”

Part of the difficulty may be due to her radical change in appearance.  After leaving the porn biz, Jameson had the implants removed from her world-famous assets and underwent a series of cosmetic surgeries that have left her face looking a bit unnatural.  Sadly she’s discovering that Hollywood can be brutal for the older woman.

Three inhabitants of the Greek island of Lesbos have filed a lawsuit against a gay rights group for calling themselves “lesbians.” Lesbos is a small island in the Aegean Sea and home of the ancient poet Sappho, who lived there in the 6th century B.C. and whose poems contain passionate references about love for other women.

The plaintiffs have asked a Greek court to draw a legal line between gay women and the Lesbos natives. They claim the Homosexual and Lesbian Community of Greece “insults the identity” of the people of Lesbos, who are also known as Lesbians.

“My sister can’t say she is a Lesbian,” said Dimitris Lambrou. “Our geographical designation has been usurped by certain ladies who have no connection whatsoever with Lesbos. This is not an aggressive act against gay women,” Lambrou said. “Let them visit Lesbos and get married and whatever they like. We just want (the group) to remove the word lesbian from their title.” Lambrou said the word lesbian has only been linked with gay women in the past few decades. “But we have been Lesbians for thousands of years.”

A spokeswoman for the (lower-case L) lesbian defendants said the (upper-case L) Lesbian action was “a joke in bad taste that borders on discrimination.”

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